Things that We Found While Cleaning Our Parents' House

So, while we were home, my sister and I were clearing out the area around our old computer desk (to remove her wedding presents now that she has a house to put them in). While we were there, we went through the desk itself to get rid of some of the crap that no one has used in a decade or so. Here are some of the treasures that we unearthed...

Jingle Bell Run

Milo's Christmas Photo Shoot

A Very Crabby Christmas

So, how many crabs can one Vermont girl living in Massachusetts fit onto a 30 inch Christmas tree, you ask?

Superstitions

I received an email today from a guy I used to date a while back, which made me think about weird little things I do. To explain, he grew up in western Africa. I grew up in Vermont. My odd little quirks seemed even more peculiar to someone from an entirely different culture. The particular odd little gesture that launched this conversation was that when he drove through a yellow light, I kissed my hand and touched the ceiling of the car (do you call that a ceiling? such is my hatred of cars). He found this so very strange.

So here are some more things that at 33 years old, I still do...

• I still wish on the first star I see in the evening (and still go through the full "starlight, star bright, first star I see tonight, wish I may, wish I might, blah blah blah blah blah tonight" thing in my head every time).
• I won't toast with water, for fear of sinking the ship (what ship? I was never clear...).
• When I am in a car that goes over train tracks, I still lift my feet, and I still hold my breath when driving past cemeteries.
• I avoid being near mirrors in the dark.
• I won't light three cigarettes (or candles) with one match (ready, aim, fire).
• I avoid walking under ladders and make it a point not to break mirrors.
• I sometimes believe that if I think about someone hard enough, they'll know - or at the very least, they'll think of me too.
  
• I count out the seconds to 60 when taking off in a plane.
• I won't buy opals.
• If I have money in my pocket when I hear the first bird sing in the spring, I will have money in my pocket for the rest of the year.
  
• I make a wish at 11:11.

I'm sure there are millions more. Any of my seven readers have weird little beliefs?

Things that I hope that Santa does not bring me for Christmas

I know that all my devoted fans want to shower me with gifts (who wouldn't?). I've compiled a brief list of things that I do not need from the commercials on tv tonight, just in case you were tempted...

• The "Ov"Glove
• Cosaquin - for dogs, cats and horses
• Anything sold at Kay Jeweler or Jared
• Chia herb garden
• Chia anything
• The Director's Cut of Eat, Pray, Love
• A car (even if Pomplamoose is selling it)(unless it comes with a driver, in which case - hey, car!)(even better if it comes with John Slattery)
  

Christmas Mix Tape for You!

I made you a Christmas mix tape. Except, you are out there, and I am in here. I'd send it to you, but knowing me, you'd get it around Easter. I tried to put it on iTunes, if you want to download it (and if it works, I'll post it here)(okay, that sort of worked, but cut a few songs - boo). In the meantime, I've posted videos when YouTube cooperates. Otherwise, stop by and get one. I've got my reel to reel cassette player all queued up...

Peace On Earth / Little Drummer Boy - Bing Crosby and David Bowie

• Such a bad idea, and yet, so great!
  

Imagination - Gregory Douglass

• Lovely, lovely. And there is a video available here. Buy all of his cds. He is terrific (and I met him when he was about the age he is in some of those photos).
  

God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen - Annie Lennox

• Best.Christmas.Album.Ever. Video here. (It was a toss up between this and As Joseph Went A Walking, which she also does, but I am so in love with that video that it won).
  

Snow - Rosemary Clooney, Danny Kaye & Bing Crosby

• From White Christmas. Video here. (I love that the "snow" sign on the poster looks like the logo for my hometown).
  

The 12 Days of Christmas - Straight No Chaser

• Here it is. A sentimental favorite from my few months living in Indiana.
  

I Saw Three Ships - Barenaked Ladies

• I really, really love that song. (fuzzy live version here)
  

Mele Kalikimaka - The Puppini Sisters

• That one is for JSP. Have him sing it for you sometime. I promise, it's worth it! And seriously, how cute are the Puppini Sisters? (also a fuzzy live version).
  

We Need a Little Christmas - Johnny Mathis

• Because though I haven't "grown a little leaner," I have "grown a little colder, grown a little sadder, grown a little older and I need a little angel sitting on my shoulder..." ("video" of Christmas cards with this song as the background).
  

A' Soalin' - Peter, Paul & Mary

• My high school computer teacher sang this with her husband at our Christmas assembly one year. It's really quite something.
  

The Holly & The Ivy - Mediaeval Baebes

• My favorite Christmas song for some reason.("video")
  

Lo! How A Rose E'er Blooming - Sufjan Stevens

• Buy this cd for the packaging. It comes with stickers! ("video")
  

It Came Upon a Midnight Clear - Sixpence None The Richer

• I'm sure that I first heard this on Grey's Anatomy or some equally embarrassing show. Still a good song. ("video")
  

Sugar Rum Cherry (Dance of the Sugar-Plum Fairy) - Duke Ellington

• Just perfect. This is what I wanted the Pink Martini Christmas cd to sound like, which it sadly did not.(video of The U.S. Army Blues Band playing it)
  

O Holy Night - Tracy Chapman

• The only recording of this song that hasn't made me want to tear my ears off.(live version here)
  

Christmas Time Is Here - Diana Krall

• I (heart) The Charlie Brown Christmas Special.(I couldn't find Ms. Krall's version on the internets for you, so here's the original)
  

Wintersong - Sarah McLachlan

• This song breaks my heart every time.
  

Noel: Christmas Eve, 1913 - John Denver & The Muppets

• There will be no mocking my love for John Denver. And after almost three decades, the line "and they knew they could not tell whether it were angels or the bright stars were singing" still gives me chills.(this says "lip synch version" but it's the only video of it that I can find)
  

Christmas Card From Hooker In Minneapolis - Tom Waits

• Not strictly Christmas-y, but still awesome. ("video")
  

O Tannenbaum - Vince Guaraldi Trio

• Wonderful. But now I want a Christmas tree. here again is the Christmas Special video, with apologies for the ad.
  

My Next Job

• Monkey Deporter (though I am probably more qualified for the Shabash-Wala position)
• Surfer (though this necessitates me learning how to surf)
• Weeki Wachee Mermaid - though, as a rule I am against Florida
• Something that involves having a big yard and a puppy, and not having to leave to do much. What's that? A trophy wife? A trophy wife.
  

To all the girls I've loved before

For some reason, I have had that song in my head all day, and so, I want to stop for a moment, on Thanksgiving, and thank all my exes. All the people I've loved, I've hurt, I've been hurt by, I've dreamed of, I've toyed with, all the people who I've thought of on lonely nights, all the people I've wondered "what if?", all the people I flirt with, all the people who broke my heart, all the people who have made me what I am today.

Thank you , my darlings.

I'm glad they came along, I dedicate this song, &c...

(and I am, of course, thankful for Willie Nelson)

Things for Which I am Thankful

• That the maple tree in my parents' front yard has held on another year
• That Christine O'Donnell does not represent anyone in the U.S. Senate
• My mother's stuffing
• Streaming Netflix
• Friends and Family
• The Pixar It Get's Better video
• The corgi flop
• Megashark vs Giant Octopus
• Vermont
  

Sob

Boo hoo

I seem to have completely lost my favorite scarf. I had it at the show last week, and I fear that it ended up under the table, and is gone for ever.

The bar does not have it. I am most unhappy.

Here is a picture of it in better days...

Le Jazz Hot

I had a marvelous evening of jazz in three parts last night: the good, the bad, and the bizarre.

The good - RTQ! Always a joy. I ♥ the new saxophonist. Though Jim, if you introduce everyone in the band except yourself, people are going to think that your name is Rollo Tomasi.

The bad - I won't name the group pictured above, as they may google themselves, and they are too earnest to really hate. Also, there was some disagreement over what they were called (I'm sure I was on the wrong end of that argument, but I liked my answer better). Also, there was a marimba, which made their load in more fun to watch than most. Suffice it to say, there were about 20 of them, and their lead singer was a irritating white girl singing African music. Which is too bad, as the musicians themselves seemed pretty good. Or at least, very loud.

The weird - I had the strangest - Very Special Episode of the Facts Of Life - dream in which our intrepid girls venture out to a jazz club wearing berets and are offered pot. Answer from Blaire - "We don't get high. We annoy each other enough as it is."

Socks!

JSP bought me these socks because I was freezing and not at all accepting that it's practically winter in New England.

Happy Halloween (Guest Entry)

From DCS - entitled Orange-A-mel chasing kitty smurf :)

Trucks that have driven by my window this morning that are not the NSTAR Truck that I am waiting for:

• some sort of sewage truck
• a Fed Ex Truck
• a sketchy blue truck that stopped and picked up some old fixtures from my neighbor's house
• the Magic Hat truck
• the NSTAR van - yes - it has driven by my apartment twice and not stopped or called. I called dispatch to see if my phone had just missed the call. But no, they haven't called.

I hate NSTAR!

Public Service Announcement

My lovely friend Sara has a very sick dad. To offset his medical expenses, she is doing a very cool thing - making one thousand paper cranes, and accepting sponsorship of said cranes for $2 each. All the info is here.

So, for those of you who know Sara - or for those of you who have $2 and a paypal account, you know what to do.

And here is a crane for you that I made. I'm sure the ones she makes are vastly superior, but you know how I love a visual aid. Plus - orange!

Recommended Cambridge Halloween Costumes

(This post is dedicated to the two blue-eyed blond girls who arrived on my door step two Halloweens ago with cornrows in their hair. When my neighbor and I asked what they were dressed as, one of them said "We're African basket-weavers." Only in 02138, my friends.)

• Che Guevara
• Superman (the Nietzsche one, not the DC Comics one)
• Elena Kagan
• Adam Smith's Invisible Hand (the scary costume)
• Noam Chomsky
• Sexy Noam Chomsky

Because people were just dying to get in...

Some Orange Things from Yesterday's Travels

Open Letter to the Tour Guide with the Bullhorn Outside my Office Window

Dear Tour Guide,

Telling the tourists that the students who live in the same building as the President's Office have to be "really freaking quiet" because of the people who work in the building THROUGH A BULLHORN is not really winning you over to me.

xoxo,

-k

Words That are Not the International Radiotelephony Spelling Alphabet Code for U

• Umbrella
• Uvula
• Underpants
• Uppercut
• Utah
• Universe
• Unladylike

So my father was in the army, and when he spells things out, he always uses the Alpha, Bravo &c system. It has been a life long, albeit, entirely unsuccessful, goal of mine to learn it. Yesterday evening, as I was walking home from work, I was almost all the way there, and I got stuck on U. I'll look it up when I finish typing this sentence, but you can be assured that it isn't any of those...

And the winner is...

Uniform

Dispatches from My Spam Filter

I really wonder what the common thread is...

• Sup?
• Someone on Facebook is looking for you
• Meet 50+ singles
• Lonely Wives! [Date Real Cheating Wives]
• Stop Outsourcing Now!
• Hot Hot Fun
• Thousands of Hip Replacements Recalled Due to Failure
• We Need Your Kindness
• Talk to Me

Laundry Day!

wow. I really don't own a lot of color, do I...

Cambridge Culinary Delights

So, since I no longer even fit into my fat pants, I'm trying the cleanse again - no pasta, no booze, no sugar, no fried. So of course, I'm watching the Phantom Gourmet and thinking of things I would like to be eating and drinking. Here is a short list of my local favorites. Enjoy for me.

• Guacamole at Olé
  
• Rosemary Truffle Fries at the Cellar
• Bacon Cheeseburger at Casablanca
• Tomato Soup and Grilled Cheese at Upstairs on the Square
• Lobster Pot Pie at the Red House
  
• Lavender Cosmo at Om or the Grapefruit Cosmo at Daedalus
  
• Cupcakes from Sweet (which has almost made me forget my beloved Baby Cakes in Quincy)
• Hot chocolate at Burdick

and since it's breakfast/brunch time right now

• coconut french toast at Zoe's
• Canteen B.L.T. at the Canteen
• Anything at all at Petsi Pies

Sigh.

My Favorite Villainesses

• Yzma from The Emperor's New Groove
• Drusilla from Buffy
• Cousin Bette from, well, Cousin Bette
• The Queen of Hearts from Alice's Adventures in Wonderland
  
• Sue Sylvester from Glee
• The Baroness from the Sound of Music (note. that link goes to a video of a guy - please believe me, it's mostly her song)
• The Snow Queen from The Snow Queen
  

Cat on a Hot Tin Handbag

What I learned at American Apparel today while buying tights

petticoats are back.

Where is Cyndi Lauper when you need her?

Why I am the Best Girlfriend Ever

Because last night consisted of:

• Beer
• Calzones
• Crank 2* and
  
• a martial arts movie**

* JSP had built this one up so that it couldn't possibly be as good as he described, but the last 15 minutes went from zero to (to borrow a phrase) one hundred and crazy really quickly.
** JSP had built this one up,but couldn't possibly describe how truly awesome and touching it was. I recommend.

Things That are Orange

I may never sleep again...