Online Dating Tips

I have been meaning to do this post for a while to complain about all the people who "work hard and play hard," the people looking for "a partner in crime," the people who can't spell or still use text shorthand at age 36, and the people whose profile picture is a camera phone picture of a bare torso. These are all things that annoy me, but today I discovered the essential, platonic rule of online dating: thou shalt not use IWillNotMurderYou as your user name. Everything else is just details...