22 June 2011

New Standards for Evaluating Dates

So I made a crack about giving someone stars on an online dating site feeling like judging figure skating, and was challenged to come up with something better. So far, what I've come up with is flavors -
  • Cinnamon – sweet and homey
  • Fresh plum – crisp and refreshing
  • Banana flavoring (not to be confused with actual bananas) - fake and terrible in every way
  • Parsley – nondescript and inoffensive
  • Sugar – hard to resist, but ultimately only good for you in small doses
  • Roquefort Cheese – comes on strong, but unexplainably appealing
  • Cayenne Pepper – Makes your eyes water and palms sweat, but maybe not acceptable for breakfast
  • Chocolate with Cayenne Pepper - unexpected and endlessly appealing
  • White wine and garlic – goes with everything
(I'd do types of alcohol, but figure that's a bad impression to make on someone who hasn't met me - plus I'd just crib the Sports Night Smoky/slow drink of whiskey line.)

any other ideas for a better way to evaluate people you've never met? parts of speech?James Cameron movies? Mike Seaver versus Alex P. Keaton? flowering plants? muppets? Bill or Ted?

I'll have to answer him sometime, and odds are he's not one of my seven readers, so I'll feel free to crib from y'all mercilessly.

2 comments:

ANI said...

The flavours COULD work, but does that really help with judging someone's profile? I could see those applied to an in-person interaction, but not so much for 3 photos and a bunch of words.

That said, I've been thinking in terms of colours recently: grey, brown, green, yellow, red, blue - the problem with this, everyone has its own interpretations of what colours mean. Someone who appears greige to me (is there a nicer way to say "boring"?) could think that that's a compliment:)

But then again, I'm in the arts. We see colours everywhere...

k. said...

in reality, for me, there are only two categories that people fall into based on an internet profile - interesting or not interesting. You can be not interesting for myriad reasons (half naked picture, poor grammar, use of the phrase "works hard and plays hard"), but the end result is still the same.